A Modest Cat's Soliloquy

by James Donovan
(Seabeck, Wa. USA)

Oh, what a grand and glorious thing it is to be a cat!
Yes, every day I live, I grow more positive of that.
For all the great, big busy world, as is quite right and meet,
comes humbly every day to lay its tribute at my feet;

Far down within the damp, dark earth the grimy miner goes,
That I on chilly nights may have a fire for my toes;
Brave sailors plow the wintry main, through peril and mishap,
That I, on Oriental rugs, may take my morning nap.

Out in the distant meadow meekly graze the lowing kine,
That milk, in endless saucerfuls, all foaming, may be mine;
The fish that swim the ocean, and the birds that fill the air--
Did I not like their bones to pick, pray, think you they'd be there?

But first, of all who wait on me, preeminent is man;
For me he toils through all the day, and through the night does plan;
Especially the gentleman who keeps this house for me,
And takes such thoughtful, anxious care, that I should suited be.

He's stocked his rare old attic with the finest breed of mice,
A little hunting, now and then, comes in so very nice.
And furthermore, the thoughtful man, a wife has married him,
To tidy up the house for me, and keep it neat and trim;

And both of them with deference my slightest fancy treat,
And as I'm quite fastidious about the things I eat,
They never offer me a dish, to please my appetite,
Until they've tasted it themselves, it see if all is right;

And to entice my palate, when it's cloyed with other things,
All fattening in a gilded cage, a choice canary swings.
But best of all they're bringing up, with pain that can't be told,
Their children just to wait on my, when they have grown too old.

Oh, truly I am monarchess of all that I survey;
No rules or laws I recognize, no bells or calls obey.
I eat and sleep, and sleep and eat, nor ever have I toiled;
No kind of base, degrading work my paws has ever soiled.

Oh, truly 'tis a gladsome thing to be a pussy-cat!
I'm very glad, when I was born, I stopped to think of that.